If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
