i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
