oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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