You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
