I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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