you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
