I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
