Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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