But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
