You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
