so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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