I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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