Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ladies don't puke and tell
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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