Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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