i think my tv is drunk
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
