Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
