he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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