And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
