quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
