I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
