Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
