Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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