you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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