you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
