Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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