I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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