Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize