I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can't put those talents on a resume
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
