Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize