i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
