all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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