I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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