Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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