I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
