11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
