The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
