just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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