The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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