I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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