Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
