booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
How's work?
Spinning.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
