tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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