Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
