he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
