I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
