Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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