how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
