Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
