wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
