Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
this is an emotional support booty call
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
