Can i not drive my cunt home
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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