So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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