Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
