I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize