you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
